Sunday

Ate VERY lightly today because it is bloody hot. Lots of water (mint and lemon, not in the same pitcher!). Checked my points and plan to have two glasses of red wine as well as a batch of popcorn later tonight. Still have one point left but that's the fudge factor.

Sleep has still not changed very much. Sigh.

Friday and Saturday

Friday, so so. One (small-ish) glass red wine, fish, bread (boo).

Saturday I drank a TON of water all day long, went 4 points over for the day, one (large-ish) glass of red wine, tomato-garlic-egg scramble for dinner. Eating a ton of fruit today too. We'll see ...

Thursday night

One glass of red wine (normal, not "generous" pour). OK dinner, a little too much on the carbs but OK. Disordered sleep most of the night, hamster wheel for a brain.

No particular demons arose, just mundane minutiae: what glaze to put on the plates, how to reverse engineer the glazing on my coffee cup so I can replicate it, list of clinics to send flyer to, etc, etc, etc. Slept like a log from 5 am to 6:15!

This may be a loooooooooong experiment :-(

the experiment continues

Wednesday:only one glass of wine, but a "generous pour". I ate somewhat more than was prudent -- the rest of the decadent chocolate pie that should have been enough for two nights. But, overall, I think I did OK. Still no demons, but its early days yet, eh?

The Experiment

Hypothesis: doing things to excess (eating, drinking, smoking, drugs) is often to suppress demons of one sort or another.

Experiment: stop drinking to excess and see what demons, if any, arise.

Method: limit to one glass of wine, or one bottle of beer, per night for one week.

Sunday -- one glass of Captain's Red Table Wine only, with dinner. no demons
Monday -- two glasses of CRTW before dinner, 1/2 bottle of awesomely superb Malbec with dinner, small glass of Kahlua after dinner.
Tuesday -- one glass of Sauvignon Blanc only, with dinner. no demons

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday, at 11:47 pm EDT, I turned 65. Now I can

• get the Senior discount on airlines (been using the theater, movies, restaurant and National Parks one since age 60
• pay an exorbitant premium for Medicare instead of paying an exorbitant premium for private health insurance
• finally put Numb Nuts out of my mind, along with any other little thing that used to bother me
• look forward to the next 5 years during which I will work less, play more, worry less, travel more and plan a BIG party for my next BIG birthday
• have nude photos taken and display them proudly:

 

 

Homework from my therapist this week --

She said to Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Here is the first thing I found, someone with Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) has at least 5 of these symptoms:

• has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
• is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
• requires excessive admiration
• has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
• is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
• lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
• is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
• shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

That's him, to a T!

Now, how to help undo the damage he did to our son?