It has, I trust, not escaped your notice that in recent weeks I have been working outside of classification. When I originally hired on as Lover (with a later promotion to Soul Mate), my duties were to love him, cherish him, pamper him, nurture him and, on occasion, fuck his brains out.
However, in the last few weeks I have gradually been taking on the duties of a different position, completely outside of my department. I have been berating him, chastising him and generally beating up on him. Please be advised that effective immediately, I will cease to perform these duties.
In the interest of teamwork and cooperation, I will try to find some time to help train whoever is hired to fill the position of Head Bitch.
I realize that it is sometimes necessary for all of us to pick up the slack during times of downsizing. However, I honestly believe that I must now focus more completely on my original job description; I do hope that everyone will be understanding in this matter.
Yours very truly,