Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Day 65 and the 'new normal'

What parts of our 'normal' today will we carry through into ... forever ... whenever?

I envision having a wardrobe of masks. Maybe a fancy one for going out to shows or dinner. Something fun for when I get together with friends and family. The ones that have been washed a lot and are a bit tatty might do for going to the gas station but not for the grocery store where I might run into someone I know. But, masks are probably part of my life for at least the next couple of years.

What about the weekly neighborhood cocktail parties, 2-3 couples only, spaced 6 feet apart? When everyone gets back to work, school, everyday life, will those continue? Will everyone get back to work, school, everyday life?  Or maybe once a month get togethers with a few neighbors, just to stay connected? Electronic communication will probably lean more toward Zoom, Room, Face Time and less toward plain vanilla phone calls.

What will "work" look like? Twitter has announced that their employees can all work from home ... forever. As other companies realize that employees can be just as productive working from home, will that become the new normal?

And as people realize they don't have to be geographically close to where they work, will there be a gradual (or not so gradual) exodus from urban centers to more pleasant places? Will we choose where to live by the climate, or geographical attractions, or closer to friends or family? This is where intentional communities can thrive -- you can live where you and your tribe choose, not where your employer happens to be.

Some retail workers will still need to go to a workplace, but already grocery stores are pivoting to self-checkout. Mail and packages will still need to be delivered, but drones and robots are starting to take that over. Manufacturing has already been invaded by the robots.

Restaurants and bars cannot be digitized or "remoted" but when will people feel safe again to congregate?

Will most sports spectators still want to watch in person? Or will TV be good enough? How about "live" theater? There is something to be said for experiencing those up close and personal.

How will school change? Will El-Hi school become more fragmented? English and History classes online; Math and Science classes in a lab; fewer students in each class? How will young children be socialized? Will there still be day-care and pre-school?

Note to self: revisit this on 5/20/2025

Friday, May 15, 2020

Day 60 and face masks

Sewing, especially quilting, is my hobby, my "happy time", my diversion and never more so than during this pandemic quarantine.

When I sew a baby bib or a quilt, I think about the intended recipient while designing the pattern, while pulling the fabric, while cutting and sewing and layering and basting and quilting and binding. It is a meditative and contemplative process wherein I pour my love, happy thoughts and good wishes.

When wearing face masks was mandated for seniors, later for all people in public places, I made one for myself. I did that so I wouldn't be dipping into the limited stock available for front line workers. Then, I made two more which I later gave to my gardener and his wife. Recently, a family member requested several for a special event and I am in the process of finishing those.

 I still try to think about the recipients who are friends and family members but it is difficult and the process becomes more of a chore than the act of love it should be. Love, happy thoughts and good wishes seem to be pushed aside when I sew face masks, to be replaced by rage.

Rage. Not sadness. Rage at the stupidity, cruelty and utter malice of our national government's handling of this pandemic crisis. That home sewists are being asked to do this, like we are still a pre-industrialized nation. That the US in the 21st century is not leading the effort to contain and cure this disease, but is asking citizens to die for an economic bailout that will only benefit some large corporations. That many of our national leaders are politicizing this situation for their own benefit; and that they are enabling a large portion of our citizens to selfishly endanger their neighbors for THEIR own political purposes.

At a time when we have the opportunity to band together against a common enemy, many of our government's leaders are taking the politically expedient low road.

So, if you are a friend or family member and ask me to make you a mask, I will. I will search through my fabrics and pick something pretty and appropriate, just for you. I will work very hard to imbue my work with love, happy thoughts and good wishes for you.

But if you ask me to make 50, or 100, or 500, I will respectfully decline.  For my own well being, for my own mental health, I must limit the rage as much as possible; whether this means refusing to watch the political rallies disguised as presidential press briefings, or ruminating on stupidity, cruelty and malice.

I hope you understand.

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Day 55 and what is the same

What about my life is the same as always?

  • exercising
  • grocery shopping
  • visiting with my Stitch 'n' Bitch friends
  • quilting
  • reading
  • gardening
  • making 'medicines'
  • weaving
  • talking with my family

How is it different? 

  • exercising -- instead of Pilates classes, I walk through my  neighborhood
  • grocery shopping -- instead of walking to the store 5-6 times a week, at all times of day and evening;  I only drive there once a week, during Senior Only hours
  • visiting with my Stitch 'n' Bitch friends -- instead of meeting at Sue's house (and usually carrying home yummy goodies from Scott's garden), we have a Zoom session and everyone makes their own tea.
  • quilting -- pretty much still the same, since it is mainly a solitary hobby; but I am stacking up tops to be quilted for after the SIP is over and Jenna can help me baste them.
  • reading -- I get library books from the Northern California Digital Library, on my Kindle, and never have to return them -- they just poof, disappear, after 3 weeks.
  • gardening -- not much is changed, except for what I am growing, since the stores have a limited selection and supply of plants. There will probably be no basil this year, unless I can outsmart the bunny.
  • making 'medicines' -- nothing changed at all, at all. Unless the cannabis plants succumb to some ick.
  • weaving -- no change, except for what I listen to during. Governor Newsom's noon press briefings are the usual.
  • talking with my family -- we seem to do this a bit more than before, mainly group get-togethers with Zoom.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Day 53 and America'a short attention span

People are getting a bit antsy about sheltering-in-place. Some states (mostly  with Republican governors) are starting to rescind their SIP orders and allowing all sorts of businesses to open, some with token "social distancing" rules and use of face masks and many not.

Nail salons and hair dressers and tattoo parlors are some of the businesses Florida and Georgia can't do without. Texas is letting restaurants open at 25% capacity so that patrons are spread out from each other and "encouraging but not requiring" patrons and staff to wear masks.

One Texas restaurant chain, which owns a restaurant in the next town over from me, has forbidden its employees from wearing face masks at work because  "face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality." On the restaurant group's website, they say, "If you are concerned about your well being with respect to masks not being worn by staff or by other guests, we hope you will join us at a later date." Or, translated, "We are here to make as much money as we can and to exploit our workers and we really don't give a damn about our customers."

All of the health professionals say that wearing a face mask may not protect YOU, but it definitely will protect others FROM you if you happen to be an asymptomatic carrier -- and without universal testing, you have no way to know if you are or not. It only makes sense to try to protect other people.

The problem is, the president doesn't want to wear a mask because he is afraid he will look silly, or weak, or somehow not masculine. So he is encouraging his cult of followers to ignore the restrictions and get back to business as usual. He is so convinced that he will lose the next election in November unless the economy recovers that he is willing to sacrifice thousands of citizens to this pandemic.

He is encouraging armed terrorists to storm their state Capitol buildings to intimidate the mostly Democrat governors into relaxing the preventative restrictions.




"face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality."




Saturday, May 2, 2020

Day 47 and nothing to do with quarantine and viruses

First thing this morning, I drew the Five of Cups tarot card.
The Five of Cups shows a man in a long black cloak looking down on three cups that have been knocked over – symbolic of his disappointments and failures. Behind him stand two cups representing new opportunities and potential, but because he is so fixed on his losses (the over-turned cups), he misses the opportunities available to him.
In the background, a bridge crosses a large, flowing river and leads to the security of the castle or home on the opposite side of the riverbank – if only he can move on from the over-turned cups. The bridge is a message to 'build a bridge and get over it!'

As I soaked in the hot tub, I had this card in the back of my mind. Disappointments and failures, missed opportunities. Something my daughters' step-mother said last week, during our "Family Cocktail Zoom", about the mother-in-law we had had in common, also stuck back there.

My family dynamic, when I was young, seemed lopsided to me. My father was clearly dominant, what he wanted is what happened, what he said was law. I saw my mother as weakly, meekly, acquiescing to all he said. This was from a child's point of view, of course, and wasn't what was really going on. My parents adored each other and were, as far as they could be in the 1950's, pretty much equal partners. But what I saw was my Mom always siding with Dad when I rebelled, never taking my side. What we see, hear, feel, as children can shape our adult, or at least older, selves. Unconsciously or sub-consciously, I planned to have a different dynamic when I finally got married.

In Davy's family, I saw a kind and loving husband, doing everything he could to make his wife happy. What was actually there, and what Davy internalized, was a cold, stern, domineering wife walking rough shod all over her husband. Not a dynamic HE wanted to replicate in HIS marriage.

Part of the problem we had was due to our both being way too young to start a family, but that doesn't excuse us. He must have been terrified to suddenly have a wife and two babies when he was only 23 and had no job. No wonder he jumped at the chance to teach at East Carolina University. Now he could provide for his family. Also, his parents lived close by and he would have his mother to lean on.

I, on the other hand, had just been accepted at Syracuse University in the Library School. We were living in my grandmother's house, only a short way from my parents, and I had all of my support right there.  I saw his actions as being just like my father's -- he hadn't told me he was applying for the job, only told me after he had accepted it. We were to move hundreds of miles away; I was to give up my dream of graduate school; I hadn't even been consulted; I would be living near my mother-in-law who disliked me.

Too young to cope with the situation and each other, we separated, divorced and both lived near their support center.

Those who don't understand their own history are doomed to repeat it. Stay tuned for the next chapter.


Friday, May 1, 2020

Day 46 and time differences

My usual walk goes like this -- turn right, walk 2 blocks, turn right, walk one block, turn right, walk as far as the school parking lot. Then, across the paved play yard to the far end and deosil around the walking track until the park entrance, then left, left, and home. With California still under a Shelter In Place (SIP) order, there is little traffic and few other walkers.

Ordinarily, I walk around 8 am and have come to "know" the few people I encounter every day. There is a woman with her old Golden Retriever; we usually exchange a "good morning" in passing. There is a tall, Asian looking man with a huge, red hued, husky-German Shepherd-wolf-whatever mix. He only ever nods at my greeting but his dog is friendlier and comes up to sniff hello. There is a woman with an Irish Setter that refuses to chase balls; she brings a mirror on sunny days and her dog happily races from one side of the grass to the other, chasing the bright reflection. (He also, sometimes, "attacks" the moving shadows of trees.)

Sometimes, if it is a day when I get a later start, I may encounter my across-the-street neighbor strolling his ancient black Lab. He always greets me with , "Good morning, Rose", and I always reply, "Good morning, how are you?", embarrassed that he knows my name and I have no idea of his, even after living here for 14 years.

But today, due to a new resolve to get up earlier, I walked at 7:30. Same route, but new encounters. All of my old "friends" were still at home, working on their first cup of coffee. The earlier denizens are a different breed. First was a man walking his dog on the other side of the street while engaged in what sounded like a business call. At the house on the corner with a bench full of running shoes, the owner was sitting on the step, taking off his running shoes and scanning the newspaper.

Inside the park, at the play-yard ball corral, was a nice young man wearing a mask. He seemed to be on the spectrum, from the way he spoke to me. He was sitting inside the ball corral with his big Golden named Kona, playing games on his phone. There was the woman walking widdershins on the track having an angry phone conversation in Mandarin. Or maybe not angry; Mandarin always sounds angry to me.

Little things are different: the damp sidewalk at the corner of Walnut and Rose gets that way because the sprinklers are on at 7:30, so I walked in the street.

Little things are the same: The [very] loud mocking bird is still proclaiming his ownership of the neighborhood, probably since dawn.

My Chickens' First Night

 Sunset  was at 8:11 pm so I went out to the pen a little after 8. The three chickens were milling around, scratching and peeping and seemin...