Samhain is a time for celebrating life and remembering the dead; it is also a time for reflecting on the old year and planning for the new.
I have -- children who are, for the most part, healthy and happy.
I have -- a lover who loves me, who treats me wonderfully.
I have -- a small group of friends I love, who love me; and we all rely on each other for mutual support.
I have -- after studying hard for a few years, achieved recognition and certification in a profession where I can make a difference and where I am proud to work with a group of amazing colleagues.
I have -- a comfortable house in a safe and friendly neighborhood; the house belongs 1/3 to the bank but 2/3 is mine outright.
The secret to happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got. And that is why I am so blue today. There are some things lacking, things I want and haven't got and I can't seem get past that.
I want -- a job where I can respect my supervisor; where I can work for someone who values my knowledge, competence and contributions; where I am compensated at least at the profession's minimum rather than close to minimum wage; where I am treated as a fellow professional rather than as a servant.
I want -- a partner who looks to me first for affection, companionship, love; someone I can turn to on dark nights and rainy days; someone to play with in the sunshine; someone to make plans for the future with; someone to grow old with.
Already, I have taken steps to resolve the professional issue. My resume is winging its way around the county and a bit beyond, accompanied by the best cover letters I can compose. My hope is that it will bring me more professional satisfaction, contentment, fulfillment and financial security.
Tomorrow night, my Full Moon ritual will attempt to do the same for the relationship issue. My petition to Goddess will wing its way into the universe, and perhaps a bit beyond, accompanied by the best prayers I can compose. My hope is that it will bring me a companion to soothe my fears of growing old alone.
Perhaps, by this time next year, I will no longer want what I don't have; either because I have obtained it or because I have become more enlightened. Stay tuned ... news at 11/1/10