Day 55 and what is the same

What about my life is the same as always?

• exercising
• grocery shopping
• visiting with my Stitch 'n' Bitch friends
• quilting
• reading
• gardening
• making 'medicines'
• weaving
• talking with my family

How is it different? 

• exercising -- instead of Pilates classes, I walk through my  neighborhood
• grocery shopping -- instead of walking to the store 5-6 times a week, at all times of day and evening;  I only drive there once a week, during Senior Only hours
• visiting with my Stitch 'n' Bitch friends -- instead of meeting at Sue's house (and usually carrying home yummy goodies from Scott's garden), we have a Zoom session and everyone makes their own tea.
• quilting -- pretty much still the same, since it is mainly a solitary hobby; but I am stacking up tops to be quilted for after the SIP is over and Jenna can help me baste them.
• reading -- I get library books from the Northern California Digital Library, on my Kindle, and never have to return them -- they just poof, disappear, after 3 weeks.
• gardening -- not much is changed, except for what I am growing, since the stores have a limited selection and supply of plants. There will probably be no basil this year, unless I can outsmart the bunny.
• making 'medicines' -- nothing changed at all, at all. Unless the cannabis plants succumb to some ick.
• weaving -- no change, except for what I listen to during. Governor Newsom's noon press briefings are the usual.
• talking with my family -- we seem to do this a bit more than before, mainly group get-togethers with Zoom.

Day 53 and America'a short attention span

People are getting a bit antsy about sheltering-in-place. Some states (mostly  with Republican governors) are starting to rescind their SIP orders and allowing all sorts of businesses to open, some with token "social distancing" rules and use of face masks and many not.

Nail salons and hair dressers and tattoo parlors are some of the businesses Florida and Georgia can't do without. Texas is letting restaurants open at 25% capacity so that patrons are spread out from each other and "encouraging but not requiring" patrons and staff to wear masks.

One Texas restaurant chain, which owns a restaurant in the next town over from me, has forbidden its employees from wearing face masks at work because  "face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality." On the restaurant group's website, they say, "If you are concerned about your well being with respect to masks not being worn by staff or by other guests, we hope you will join us at a later date." Or, translated, "We are here to make as much money as we can and to exploit our workers and we really don't give a damn about our customers."

All of the health professionals say that wearing a face mask may not protect YOU, but it definitely will protect others FROM you if you happen to be an asymptomatic carrier -- and without universal testing, you have no way to know if you are or not. It only makes sense to try to protect other people.

The problem is, the president doesn't want to wear a mask because he is afraid he will look silly, or weak, or somehow not masculine. So he is encouraging his cult of followers to ignore the restrictions and get back to business as usual. He is so convinced that he will lose the next election in November unless the economy recovers that he is willing to sacrifice thousands of citizens to this pandemic.

He is encouraging armed terrorists to storm their state Capitol buildings to intimidate the mostly Democrat governors into relaxing the preventative restrictions.




"face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality."

Day 47 and nothing to do with quarantine and viruses

First thing this morning, I drew the Five of Cups tarot card.

The Five of Cups shows a man in a long black cloak looking down on three cups that have been knocked over – symbolic of his disappointments and failures. Behind him stand two cups representing new opportunities and potential, but because he is so fixed on his losses (the over-turned cups), he misses the opportunities available to him.

In the background, a bridge crosses a large, flowing river and leads to the security of the castle or home on the opposite side of the riverbank – if only he can move on from the over-turned cups. The bridge is a message to 'build a bridge and get over it!'

As I soaked in the hot tub, I had this card in the back of my mind. Disappointments and failures, missed opportunities. Something my daughters' step-mother said last week, during our "Family Cocktail Zoom", about the mother-in-law we had had in common, also stuck back there.

My family dynamic, when I was young, seemed lopsided to me. My father was clearly dominant, what he wanted is what happened, what he said was law. I saw my mother as weakly, meekly, acquiescing to all he said. This was from a child's point of view, of course, and wasn't what was really going on. My parents adored each other and were, as far as they could be in the 1950's, pretty much equal partners. But what I saw was my Mom always siding with Dad when I rebelled, never taking my side. What we see, hear, feel, as children can shape our adult, or at least older, selves. Unconsciously or sub-consciously, I planned to have a different dynamic when I finally got married.

In Davy's family, I saw a kind and loving husband, doing everything he could to make his wife happy. What was actually there, and what Davy internalized, was a cold, stern, domineering wife walking rough shod all over her husband. Not a dynamic HE wanted to replicate in HIS marriage.

Part of the problem we had was due to our both being way too young to start a family, but that doesn't excuse us. He must have been terrified to suddenly have a wife and two babies when he was only 23 and had no job. No wonder he jumped at the chance to teach at East Carolina University. Now he could provide for his family. Also, his parents lived close by and he would have his mother to lean on.

I, on the other hand, had just been accepted at Syracuse University in the Library School. We were living in my grandmother's house, only a short way from my parents, and I had all of my support right there.  I saw his actions as being just like my father's -- he hadn't told me he was applying for the job, only told me after he had accepted it. We were to move hundreds of miles away; I was to give up my dream of graduate school; I hadn't even been consulted; I would be living near my mother-in-law who disliked me.

Too young to cope with the situation and each other, we separated, divorced and both lived near their support center.

Those who don't understand their own history are doomed to repeat it. Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Day 46 and time differences

My usual walk goes like this -- turn right, walk 2 blocks, turn right, walk one block, turn right, walk as far as the school parking lot. Then, across the paved play yard to the far end and deosil around the walking track until the park entrance, then left, left, and home. With California still under a Shelter In Place (SIP) order, there is little traffic and few other walkers.

Ordinarily, I walk around 8 am and have come to "know" the few people I encounter every day. There is a woman with her old Golden Retriever; we usually exchange a "good morning" in passing. There is a tall, Asian looking man with a huge, red hued, husky-German Shepherd-wolf-whatever mix. He only ever nods at my greeting but his dog is friendlier and comes up to sniff hello. There is a woman with an Irish Setter that refuses to chase balls; she brings a mirror on sunny days and her dog happily races from one side of the grass to the other, chasing the bright reflection. (He also, sometimes, "attacks" the moving shadows of trees.)

Sometimes, if it is a day when I get a later start, I may encounter my across-the-street neighbor strolling his ancient black Lab. He always greets me with , "Good morning, Rose", and I always reply, "Good morning, how are you?", embarrassed that he knows my name and I have no idea of his, even after living here for 14 years.

But today, due to a new resolve to get up earlier, I walked at 7:30. Same route, but new encounters. All of my old "friends" were still at home, working on their first cup of coffee. The earlier denizens are a different breed. First was a man walking his dog on the other side of the street while engaged in what sounded like a business call. At the house on the corner with a bench full of running shoes, the owner was sitting on the step, taking off his running shoes and scanning the newspaper.

Inside the park, at the play-yard ball corral, was a nice young man wearing a mask. He seemed to be on the spectrum, from the way he spoke to me. He was sitting inside the ball corral with his big Golden named Kona, playing games on his phone. There was the woman walking widdershins on the track having an angry phone conversation in Mandarin. Or maybe not angry; Mandarin always sounds angry to me.

Little things are different: the damp sidewalk at the corner of Walnut and Rose gets that way because the sprinklers are on at 7:30, so I walked in the street.

Little things are the same: The [very] loud mocking bird is still proclaiming his ownership of the neighborhood, probably since dawn.

Day 40 and birthday parties

Today is my first husband's 77th birthday. As we all get up into the higher number years, birthdays become special again -- who knows how many there are left.

Our first family Zoom birthday party was for our grandson's 15th. There were ... lots ... too many? ... little boxes on the screen. Coordinating a group of people to sing the birthday song can be difficult; doing it over Zoom is PAINFUL! Worst, hands down, bar none, worst rendition in the history of ever.

My daughters' step Mom wanted a family Zoom party for G-Dad's birthday but, we had to all promise -- no singing! So we had our semi-regular family Zoom cocktail party and, on the count of three, shouted "happy birthday". Much better than the singing.

There was a lot of discussion about hoping this would be the last "Covid Birthday" in the family. The next birthday, mine, is coming up in about a month and it would be great to have it in person.

One of my daughters families was missing their college student son so much, they got him a plane ticket home for the weekend. He said there were 20 people on the plane and 2 rows in front of him, 2 rows behind and 4 seats next to him, were all empty.

Day 39 and really stupid things

I hope that history books will somehow convey the stupidity of the man who is serving as President of the US during these Strange Days.

First he started touting hydroxycholorquine, a drug that is legitimately used for Rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. A drug that can have serious side effects when not used properly; side effects like ... death.

Yesterday he talked about using disinfectants to kill the virus. Inside people. Disinfectants. Inject them or "otherwise get [them] inside the body". Disinfectants.

Lastly, UV light can kill viruses. So he thinks doctors should try to get UV light into the body, through the skin, or into the lungs somehow. UV light.

It would be humorous, but this is the President of the US saying these things, out loud, in public. And his idiot followers are listening to him. A couple in Arizona drank chlorquine phosphate ('cause it sort of sounds the same, eh?), a chemical used to clean fish tanks. He died; she was hospitalized. She had used it to treat her koi fish for parasites. "I saw it sitting on the back shelf and thought, 'Hey isn't that the stuff the President is talking about on TV?' " she told NBC News. "We were afraid of getting sick," she said.

Day 38 and the new, fungible, normal

Today at the grocery store there was a 40-something woman shopping during the senior (60+) hours. Faux pas number 1.And she had no mask on! #2 And she was ignoring the one-way signs for the aisles. #3 She stood out like a sore thumb and EVERYONE was talking about her.

It's like she was from a different planet. Or maybe from the year 2019.

As I was checking out, with the Plexiglas shield between me and the cashier, the alien lady approached from the other end of the checkout line; she came over behind the shield, right in the cashier's face, to protest a charge on her bill. She had the shelf price card in her hand, "See, it says right here 99 cents. See here on my bill, I got two of them and was charged $2.00. You need to refund me."  Never mind that the cashier was in the middle of checking out my groceries. #4, #5, #6

The new normal is me, wearing a mask, greeting the two cashiers by their checkout stands, also wearing masks. No more smiling hello, we nod politely at each other.

I noticed a friend shopping as well and we stopped far enough apart that we had to raise our voices to chat a minute.

Strange days.

Meanwhile, our Governor announced yesterday that he is easing the Shelter in Place restrictions so that surgeries can be performed again. So those who need their brain tumors removed, or who need heart valves or joint replacement, or organ transplants have some hope of not dying from something other than COVID-19.