Get a Life!

Oooh-kaay. How is that to be done?

• something interesting
• something somewhat time-consuming
• something time flexible
• something creative

Possiblities --

• tutor at Springer Elementary School: art? reading? math???
• get the dang RV and travel --
• writing about it
• taking photos
• something vet med related? what?
• more time in the pottery studio, get *really* good and sell stuff
• more time in the sewing studio, ditto

 Ideas? Anyone?

Insight Incite

Perhaps he did see me as one of the broken ladies after all. My "brokenness" lies in my low self esteem and quivering insecurities. By making me feel special, he healed my self esteem. I'm just not special enough. More broken shiny pretty things come along and I am special and cured.

Choices

1. Continue in a warm and loving relationship where I am continually going to be pushed to the bottom as the next shiny pretty thing comes along.

2. Risk losing everything and being very lonely forever by rocking the boat.

3. Think outside the box and look for the relationship where I am the number one object of affection and attention.

Experiment is Over

The title says it all. No demons haunted my sleep; none came at 3 AM to wake me up. Eating/drinking habits have changed just a teeny bit but I am in control.

Control seems to be the word of the month. I think working with clay as well as with fabric to express creativity will help me feel/be in control.

Sunday

Ate VERY lightly today because it is bloody hot. Lots of water (mint and lemon, not in the same pitcher!). Checked my points and plan to have two glasses of red wine as well as a batch of popcorn later tonight. Still have one point left but that's the fudge factor.

Sleep has still not changed very much. Sigh.

Friday and Saturday

Friday, so so. One (small-ish) glass red wine, fish, bread (boo).

Saturday I drank a TON of water all day long, went 4 points over for the day, one (large-ish) glass of red wine, tomato-garlic-egg scramble for dinner. Eating a ton of fruit today too. We'll see ...

Thursday night

One glass of red wine (normal, not "generous" pour). OK dinner, a little too much on the carbs but OK. Disordered sleep most of the night, hamster wheel for a brain.

No particular demons arose, just mundane minutiae: what glaze to put on the plates, how to reverse engineer the glazing on my coffee cup so I can replicate it, list of clinics to send flyer to, etc, etc, etc. Slept like a log from 5 am to 6:15!

This may be a loooooooooong experiment :-(